Bad Scout Badges

Christmas Gifts

kevin — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 06:16:34 +0000

There are few times that I have something important to say. This is one of those times.

I find that when neighborhood moms are looking for stupid crap to buy their sons, they often aim for tee shirts, hats and jeans.

Well, in today’s day and age, these moms are buying something that their sons actually like.

That’s right.

Puppies.

And when those puppies crap all over the floor, the boy can wipe up that crap with his tee shirts, hats and jeans.

It’s just what happens.

Thank me later.

carl@badscoutbadges.com

Family Guy

kevin — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 06:11:58 +0000

Remember our band? Handful of Peter?

Halloween

kevin — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 18:16:04 +0000

It’s the most sluttiest time. It’s the most sluttiest time. It’s the most sluttiest tiiiiime of the yeeeeeaaaaaaaar! That’s right ladies and gentlemen, this is the weekend of all weekends for seeing the uptight, overbearing accountant in your office dressed up in a leather bra, mini skirt, and furry tail. We should be giving out badges to the most random slutty outfit a girl has this year. Slutty Stegosaurus? Slutty Newt Gingrich? Slutty Geico Gecko? Let’s not just see the normal, slutty cat, slutty devil this year. Let’s break the mold, and see slutty versions of things we never imagined!

Note: The Bad Scout will be going as a slutty Paul Revere.

Bad Scout Badges

kevin — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 23:47:21 +0000

Ah, childhood. Remember the days of golden star sticker charts where the one girl who sat in the front of the classroom collected five times as many as you? Remember all the kids who actually read those books and exchanged them for sweet prizes while you read pretended to read one book and got a slinky that broke in 4 minutes? Remember the stickers that wound up on everyone else’s tests and quizzes filled with smiley faces saying “great work,” “terrific” or “you’re a star” while the stickers you got had faces saying “I’ve seen better,” “Have you considered going for a GED” and “Your parents must have a drinking problem.” Don’t worry…now there’s a time to rejoice. For every boy kicked out of Indian Guides, every girl who couldn’t make the cheerleading squad, and everyone who just wants a damn badge that they didn’t have to do some kind of service to earn, there’s Bad Scout Badges.

Places Not To Live

kevin — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 02:33:24 +0000

Trailer park in Malibu.

Albany, GA.

The gutter on 143rd Street.

Space Station.

The Radisson.

www.badscoutbadges.com

What’s Pissing Me Off

kevin — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 02:30:31 +0000

Lack of Never Back Down sequels.

$7 Jack Daniels shot on Delta.

No roach clip for cigars.

Neighbor’s cat.

Out-sourced call centers. Keep ‘em in the USA, folks.

Sangria.

64 calorie beer.

Women who talk about their new skis.

Women who talk.

Shit Fire!

kevin — Tue, 24 May 2011 04:43:53 +0000

I bet neighbor Dale I could get 45 followers by Friday 8PM. If I win, I get to light his house on fire. I lose, I light it on fire anyway.

A Rocket Ship

kevin — Tue, 24 May 2011 04:42:52 +0000

Something I eat for breakfast.

Hip Hop Soldier

kevin — Tue, 24 May 2011 04:42:18 +0000

Shyne Swagger disgraces Messy Marv and the sanctity of hip hop. Believe it. http://bit.ly/90hOY3

Ninja Bread Cookies

kevin — Tue, 24 May 2011 04:40:54 +0000

I baked 36 ninjabread-men cookies to see if I could crush them all at once with my fist. And I could. Just FYI. http://bit.ly/98Qd9U